TO HAVE and TO HOLD: The Art of Marriage

Description

To Have and To Hold: The Art of Marriage practical guide to building and sustaining a God-centred marriage. Grounded in the King James Bible and structured around the timeless marriage vow “to have and to hold,” the book walks readers through three progressive stages: Having (finding and becoming a suitable spouse), Holding (sustaining the marriage daily through twelve practical, faith-rooted principles), and Holding the Produce (raising children with godly values). Drawing on scripture such as Proverbs 18:22, Matthew 19, Genesis 2, and 1 Peter 3, alongside real statistics on divorce and relationship breakdown, the author addresses why so many marriages end in separation — lack of commitment, poor communication, financial secrecy, unforgiveness, and neglect — and offers a clear, actionable framework to reverse those patterns. Principles covered include Addition and Subtraction, Upholding God’s Family Structure, Application (wisdom and knowledge), Listening, Waiting, Communication, Forgiving, Love, Attention, Financial Oneness, and Openness.
The book also includes practical scripts for speaking affirming words to a spouse, a twelve-point financial oneness framework for couples, and guidance on raising children as “produce” to be held and nurtured in godly values such as respect, faith, integrity, and honour. It closes with a collection of original quotable quotes and a call to restoration through 2 Chronicles 7:14.
Whether you are single and seeking a spouse, engaged and preparing for marriage, or already married and working to strengthen or repair your relationship, this book offers biblically grounded, immediately usable wisdom for building a marriage that lasts “till death do us part.”

Problems This Book Helps Solve

1. Poor spouse selection — helps singles discern who is genuinely “findable” and suitable, rather than choosing based on chemistry or attraction alone.
2. Breakdown in communication — addresses the silence, defensiveness, and unspoken resentment that erode intimacy between spouses.
3. Unresolved hurt and grudges — tackles the failure to truly forgive, which quietly destroys trust and closeness over time.
4. Financial secrecy and conflict — provides a concrete framework for merging finances, disclosure, and joint decision-making to prevent money-related divorce.
5. Disengaged or misdirected parenting — equips parents to intentionally instil values and faith in their children rather than leaving it to chance.

Things Readers Will Learn

1. How to discern and pursue a spouse who is genuinely “suitable” — not just attractive — before marriage.
2. The biblical structure and roles within a God-centered family (Christ, husband, wife, children).
3. Twelve practical principles for sustaining marriage long-term, including listening, waiting, attention, and openness.
4. How to speak life-giving, affirming words to a spouse — with specific example phrases for both husbands and wives.
5. A step-by-step approach to financial oneness in marriage, including joint accounts, budgeting, and avoiding financial secrecy.

Benefits of Purchasing This Book

1. A biblical roadmap for every stage of relationship — from singleness to engagement to long-term marriage.
2. Practical, usable tools — not just theory — including scripts, frameworks, and step-by-step guidance you can apply immediately.
3. Preventive and restorative value — useful both for couples preparing for marriage and those seeking healing in an existing one.
4. Concise and accessible — a focused, easy-to-read booklet rather than a lengthy theological text.
5. Extras included — a page of original quotable quotes and a closing call to spiritual restoration for added encouragement.

Sample Testimonials
“This book didn’t just give us theory — it gave us a plan. The chapter on Financial Oneness alone saved us from repeating the mistakes we’d both grown up watching in our parents’ marriages.” —  Mr and Mrs James (Newly married couple)

“As someone counselling couples for premarital classes, I now recommend this as required reading. The ‘Having’ and ‘Holding’ framework is simple enough for anyone to grasp, yet deeply rooted in scripture.” — Marriage counsellor

“After twelve years of marriage, I thought I knew everything about my spouse. The Principle of Listening chapter humbled me — and changed how we talk to each other.” — Francis Boyle (Long-married reader)